just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
