1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
