dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
