All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
