Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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