We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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