I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize