kristin has been a bad kristin
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it's like iHOP with fire
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
