the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
