He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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