Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
