A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
