As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
