I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
