i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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