I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
