Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
