yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
