question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
