YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
