Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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