dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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