I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
