Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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