SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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