he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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