i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
