I'm drive I can fine osifer
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
