margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I didn't shave. On purpose
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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