Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
