What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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