turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
