Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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