So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
