Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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