Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
this just has baby written all over it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
