Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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