He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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