Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
