Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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