At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
