U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sober January is a disaster.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
