Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
