Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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