At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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