just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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