why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
