the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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