I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
