So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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