he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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