and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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