I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
