Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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