It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
