absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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