how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
