That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
