everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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