three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
